Diet Planning
I’ve been spending the last week trying to experiment with my own advice about compulsive internetting. I cleared the history in my browser so that I didn’t have instant access to Facebook, Twitter, or Flickr. I decided to try checking e-mail twice a day. More importantly, I decided to LEAVE THE HOUSE more often. Not just leave the house–but leave the neighborhood. I have been finding it SUCH a relief.
This is how our schedule works in this home: On the days Graham does not teach, we get up at 5:30 with Gus, drink coffee, and then Graham is gone to do work from 8:00am-12:00pm. Gus and I hang out, go to the park, grocery shop, eat lunch, and then Gus goes down for a nap at 12:00-12:30, when I “leave” to do my work until 5pm. On the days Graham does teach, I have Gus on my own from 7:00am to 7:00pm. We do this 6 days a week. It’s a great machine of efficiency, but it also can be fairly airless. There isn’t a lot of socializing or time for pleasure. It’s really no wonder that I seek out pleasure in the form of mindless pursuits like compulsive internetting, TV programs, and/or movies. Some of this is not harmful at all, but when there is a GLUT of it, it’s not good. Recently, I started noticing my focus was going again. I couldn’t read or execute work without distraction. I couldn’t concentrate that well. My anxiety went up as did my feelings of isolation. I’d bitch about my habitual use of junk, but then go RIGHT BACK INTO IT. I think like food gluttony, media gluttony is just as socially acceptible, even EXPECTED. Then, in one of my internet binges, I came upon the Zen Habits site and read his wonderful article on Focus and something in me clicked. I REALLY needed to change my habits, to go on a diet, clean up my act, and GO OUT MORE.
Then I got a bad cold for about two days. Yep, that old chestnut.
So I napped and went out to do some work one evening. I stayed with my two checks of e-mail a day. (Nobody wrote me! Ha!) Still, it’s been really helpful. I have A LOT of beliefs about how “the world works” in terms of being a freelancer, artist, etc., but I am rethinking a lot of them. I am wondering if I need to be as “plugged in” as I have been, or if I am just afraid to take RISKS outside of my desk area (aka my bedroom). So I did a mandatory diet of going OUT to things. I went to MoMA, I had dinner with friends, I called people. I took Gus to Central Park. I’ve been reading a lot of poetry instead of checking Facebook. This is not coming naturally at all, which is so WEIRD–but I already feel different. My brain is calming down. It’s nice. I have some air in my tires again. It’s fragile, though. It’s something I am trying out. I hope that I can keep it up.
Comments are closed.
I’m thinking March 1 I will join you on this diet.
I like to start things on the first of something – you know like a Monday,
but March 1 on a Thursday works in this case.
just a teeny bit ocd. tiny wee itsy bit.
thanks for the encouragement.
It’s so weird, reading your last few posts, I am in exactly the same place you are – compulsive internet feelings, inadequate feelings, the airless panicky feeling of going right from caring for my 1-year-old and 6-year-old to the work that has to be done (I’m a grad student and work part time, my husband & I juggle childcare). This week I decided I need to put my iPad fully away when not using it, otherwise it’s always there, so portable, at the edge of my attention. I printed your list of things to do and put it in my journal. Ive been reading poems…. Got a better reading lamp, which was part of the reason I’d default to a screen in the evening…. Trying to cook more real food, trying to take time, trying to stretch regularly. Just know that you are not alone!
This really reminds me of an email conversation I had with a good friend a few days ago. It started because I sent her a text when I realized I hadn’t seen any FB updates of hers recently, only to discover she had DELETED her page?!?! I was a little upset because she lives on the west coast now and I generally don’t do the phone thing, so facebook has been my connection to keep tabs on distant friends. She said that she had read an article in Psychology today challenging people to delete their account for 30 days. She felt like it was controlling her life, there was too much pressure to take in everyone’s updates, think of witty updates and checking constantly for pokes, likes, comments and responses. The breaking point was when she realized it was even changing her mind patterns and she was forming her thought in constant facebook updates for publication. I completely sympathized with her, only I wish it were only a facebook issue for me, and not an email/twitter/facebook/pinterest/flickr/google reader/instagram addiction. I feel the same way you do and it worries me that I can’t stay focused on one thing for any period of time, I’m distracted from one thing to another, even when I WANT to finish one thing, I can’t actually stick with it anymore. I was diagnosed with mild ADD as a small child, and the doctors told my parents it would most likely be something I’d grow out of and they opted not to medicate me, BUT they didn’t realize then the future would hold THE INTERNETS!!!!
Totally agree. Just gotta shake thing sup sometimes, surprise yourself, do the unexpected. I’ve been super conscious of television watching. I was raised without one so I know how unnecessary they are. But I can find it super difficult to avoid – especially if something really fascinating is on. But I’d still rather go outside and experience something real than veg out in front of a screen.
I love Zen Habits. You should check out Leo’s eGuides – he has one on Effortless Living that is fantastic. I put limits in place when I started working with social media, so I don’t feel like it takes over my life; the biggest one being that I don’t check anything on the weekends. I allow myself a few hours to go through my blogs and check Twitter on a daily basis during the week alternating days between the two. I deactivated Facebook because I found it confusing and a major time suck; at least with Twitter, my socializing is more focused on the areas I care about. It is great to put yourself on a social media diet because when you do, you can be more focused and present; I have certainly witnessed these positive side effects in my own life.
I’ll join you. I feel that lonely-need-adult-conversation thing a lot and somehow the internet fills that void for me. I’m gonna try making more dates out (even if I have to bring my little one with me). Thanks for the post!
I’m realizing how compulsive a behavior it is in me- and I never thought I was compulsive, but I guess I am. I quit getting emails for any FB updates from friends- that helps. But I really understand what your saying, and ow it feels weird.
I’ve also found fewer people I care about hearing from are doing it through my posts on FB. And I can’t keep up with it all and felt FB was becoming so boring – for everybody. I think that’s way Pinterest is interesting- now people don’t even have to speak to each other they just pin and move on! [I am not pinning any more until I hear back from a copyrig
ht lawyer about their terms.]
I also know when I worked at various design firms or places, there was a lot of FB like behavior- we took a bathroom or cofee break and that became compulsive in a way. Or there were ways to get distracted even before we all had a computer in front of us.
I’ve turned the radio off for months now, rarely have it on, or musci, and it is just me, to help me stayed focused. But I heard a great session on NPR one day by a guy that worte about social media and how most of it is very thin – not much substance. I’ve noticed not as many people post comments on my blog, and if I post the same pictures on FB without the post, they comment away. It drives me nuts. But they are all as distracted as you and me!
So, I’m with you Summer- I’m working towards more substance, in real life- I can still share it, but how much, etc, has to be recreated by me in different amounts and boundaries, and I imagine I’ll fall off the wagon sometimes and regroup.
day #2 – it turns out that I am really bad at this.