In Case You Also Need Some Ideas
I have been struggling with this AGAIN. How do I know that compulsively checking the internet is a problem for me? I BITCH about it all the time and yet DON’T CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR. If I am complaining and yet don’t hesitate to “check in” on e-mail, facebook, twitter, flickr, etc.–then it is a problem. So I am practicing these things today. I am going to start implementing screen free days in my household and possibly extending it to media free. This is a big deal because so much of screen time is a way for me to steal autonomy when I am alone all day parenting. It’s also a way for me to feel less lonely and isolated, but then I don’t call or connect with friends in real-time–something that is NOURISHING and doesn’t lead to more junk food viewing of internet and movies. Also, the need to “check in” is a way for me to check out of unpleasantness. I have discovered that when I get a whiff of anxiety or have something painful or troubling come up, I immediately check e-mail. This happens when I also discover a problem in my work or I am faced with something I’d rather not deal with. Quick! To the e-mail! Which then leads to facebook and twitter and…and…20 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 minutes go by. Not good for me at all. I don’t have much time to lose these days, and yet I lose it all the time. I know I am not alone in this struggle. Do any of you do anything about it?
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Oh no! Caught me compulsively checking blogs! I don’t know….you’re not alone. In fact you’re more likely to be alone in DOING something about it. I still have my facebook and twitter accounts but I now check them every few weeks because they were both wasting time and bugging me (that I wasn’t connecting with people in real life.) List making is good because it gets me to do my stuff. Having some knitting needles around with a project is a good one that can occupy me for a while. I was also thinking of making it really inconvenient to check the internet…move my computer out of the living room? It’s preaching to the choir but I loved this blog post on wirecutter (a tech blog actually):
http://thewirecutter.com/2012/01/happiness-takes-a-little-magic/
thanks again for the inspiration to go out there and DO.
I can totally relate to this post! I think living in a cold climate during this time of year compounds the problem because you are further limited in what you can do while caring for a small child. My 6 month old is currently taking 2 out of his 3 or 4 daily naps in the Ergo baby carrier, so I am further restricted while he is sleeping. Checking in and reading stuff on the internet is one of the things I can still do while he is sleeping on me (he is sleeping right now). One way that I try to counteract the internet pull and the isolation that stay-at-home parenting can engender is to arrange social events with friends who are also home with children. Just getting coffee and chatting with them breathes fresh air into my day and puts my son and I in a better mood. On my list of things to do for 2012 are several other activities I want to do during the winter to keep sane including taking a baby swim class, going to weekly storytime at the local library and joining a playgroup.
Enjoyed this! Found it, of course, as I was compulsively checking the internet….. Have a great day!
Ugh, yes! I’m right there with you. As soon as I finish my 37 good deeds blog, I’m taking deactivating my Facebook account for a month. Can’t wait to see what happens
It’s like we have this whole sea of activity that our parents didn’t have called the Internet. It is a whirlpool that can mercilessly suck us down and has addictive qualities. I think we need strong boundaries on it. It’s part good and part addictive. I use a timer and that really helps. I think that we need to have as much “real” interaction as virtual interaction. Your suggestions brought a breath of fresh air in! Thanks, Summer!
I don’t know if you’ve ever tried the time trick, but if I’m doing good, it works for me. Since my work is writing, my computer is on all the time – and that leads to needless time wasting. As soon as I hit a snag, it’s off to message boards, blogs and social media I go – sometimes never to return for a whole work day. So my problem isn’t needing to find other things to do, (although I should eat more carrots and or floss!), but how to control my work environment. That’s why the timer trick sometimes does, um, the trick! I set my timer for 45 minutes and then work. Once it goes off, I set it again for 15 minutes or sometimes 20, and that’s when I take my “breaks” and I can do whatever I want either on the Internet or around the house. I know since you have Gus, you may not be able to control your time to that degree, but maybe you can think of some variant on the theme that would work for you. Good luck!
I can totally relate to what you’re talking about, my friend.
For me, I think my compulsive blog reading and email checking is all about numbing out icky feelings. Other ways of numbing out include chocolate (as in, a lot of chocolate) and, to a lesser extent these days, alcohol.
It has taken over a year of therapy for me to work out that, actually, my icky feelings are not so bad. I have been more afraid than I need to be. By letting these feelings pass through I can learn a bit about where they have come from (and they also hang around for less!).
Like you, my online space sometimes feels like it’s the only space that is just for me. It is certainly one of the few spaces where I really share my self, my art, my writing and the things that make my heart sing. And I’m lucky to be supported by a small group of kindred spirits who really “get it”… there aren’t too many of those in my “real life”.
Unfortunately, it can be a little dangerous and difficult not to slide into reading so many blogs and tweets and then comparing myself unfavourably to the stories I read. Ignoring, of course, that a blog only ever tells part of the story. And that there are gorgeous and unique parts of my story that I am choosing to overlook.
So, like you, I am trying to find ways of choosing more nourishing ways to spend my time. I did this fantastic exercise as part of the Soul Restoration 2 e-course, whereby you spend time focusing on your values and your mission, then you keep distilling, distilling, distilling until you have a whole series of 5 min, 15 min, 30 min, 2 hr, 1 day activities you can do that make your heart sing and keep you on your path. Even the process of making these activities into little cards in an index box has been fun and focusing… and a great way of staying off the internet!!
Love love LOVE your illustration. xx
Uuummm…. yes to this. In fact I should have been off the internet a half hour ago but here I am checking blogs. I’m also an artist that works from home and get distracted by the internet all the time (damn you Pinterest!) I’ve tried the timer thing and if I actually close my laptop when it goes off I’m ok, but it’s the “let me just finish this article” habit that derails me. Also, I tend to listen to Pandora or stream talk radio through my laptop in my studio so it’s always there. Then when I get stuck on a piece I turn to the internet for a “break” that usually lasts longer than I’ve anticipated. Working from home is very isolating and I think that social media has become our “water cooler time”. I totally get how it numbs bad feelings too. Just last night I was talking with my husband about some situations that are upsetting me and just as I was getting worked up about what to do I stopped talking and picked up my i-phone to check facebook. I didn’t even realize what I had done until he pointed it out to me later. I didn’t want to deal with working through the hard emotions to figure out what to do, so I checked out. It’s still something I’m working on and I think just recognizing it’s a problem is a big step because for a while I honestly would look at the clock and not know where the day had gone. One thing that’s worked for me is making a daily goal sheet with all the things that make a day feel successful to me. Things like: waking up at 6am, exercising, taking my vitamins, meditating 10 minutes, working on my art from about 8 hours, flossing, drinking 64oz of water…and on that list is spending no more than a half hour on the internet. Everyday I put a green circle by the things I did accomplish and a red X by the things I didn’t. After a week or so I can look at my list and see what things I still need to work on. My goal isn’t perfection but just improvement. If you ever find a solution let us know!
i can completely relate to this! the alarming degree to which technology has infiltrated our daily lives is a topic my husband and i constantly mull over – especially because we have an almost two-year-old that i don’t want to become a screen addict. she has no screen time of any sort and won’t for some time yet, i hope, and i have chosen to not allow certain technology into my life: i still use an ancient flip phone and texting takes me a looooong time, which in my book is a good thing. i am totally freaked out by technology and the internet, even as i surf blogs endlessly. anyway, just to say i am totally with you and i try to do things like listen to the radio and have lots of good, thought-provoking magazines and books on hand to turn to in those moments when i feel the siren song of the internet calling…i have rediscovered my library and have read more books in the past year than in a long time and it feels really good.