The Artist in the Nursery Interview: Alastair Moock & Jane Roper

The Boston Globe calls Alastair Moock “one of the town’s best and most adventurous songwriters.” In 2010 he put out his first family album, A COW SAYS MOOCK, which won a NAPPA Gold Award and was a Boston Children’s Music Favorite Album of The Year.

Jane Roper’s first novel, EDEN LAKE, will be published in May. She is also working on a memoir about parenting twins, to be published in 2012. She is the author of Baby Squared, a blog about parenting twins (among other things) at Babble.com. She has an MFA in fiction from the Iowa Writers Workshop.

When I met you both, Alastair was working on his 3^rd album and Jane you were just starting to think of grad school for writing.  How have you negotiated and supported each other through your artistic paths?

Alastair: It’s definitely a negotiation and there’s been a lot of cobbling together of schedules over the years, but we’ve managed to make it all work — at least this far. Jane did go to grad school. I’ve made three more albums since you and I met, and recently started focusing more on family/children’s music in addition to my “adult” music.

Having kids definitely made our complicated schedules even more complicated and, of course, the financial strain increased. But we’ve been lucky that we’ve been able to sustain ourselves — largely due to Jane’s part-time work as a copywriter. Money and time are always the big obstacles. Artistically, though, we’ve always supported each other well. We’re each other’s best reader/listener.

As a musician, you not only need time to tour and perform, but you also need time to write. While less public, the career of a writer requires time to write and time to negotiate the business end of things.  How, with two growing girls, do you both negotiate time for these pursuits?

Jane: Alastair does the bulk of the childcare, since I’m the one with the “real” job. But we also have a sitter help out a few hours a week, and the girls are in preschool three mornings a week. And sometimes we drug them so they’ll sleep longer. (Just kidding.)

Neither of us really has a set schedule or routine when it comes to doing our creative work. We just try to fit it in whenever we can between work-work (my copywriting / Alastair’s guitar teaching) and parenting and life in general—grocery shopping, overflowing toilets, snowstorms, etc.

If one of us is feeling like they really need some extra time—if there’s a deadline to meet or a performance coming up—the other will spend some extra time with the girls to help make it happen. I did a weeklong writing retreat this past fall, which was incredibly productive. Payback for the two-week tour Alastair did in Germany last summer. It all evens out, more or less.

Alastair: Yeah, and it really helps to drug them so they’ll sleep longer.

I just finished reading the writer Neal Pollack’s memoir on early fatherhood, Alternadad.  His wife, Regina Allen, is a painter, and when it came down to having a baby there was no question that she would give up her artistic pursuits for motherhood, while Pollack maintains that men’s priorities and pursuits don’t shift all that much.  I am curious how this dynamic worked between you.  Both of you are very professional, equally driven artists.   Did you find a gender divide emerge when it came to caring for your girls and pursuing your work?

Alastair: There was never a question with us that I would be the primary caregiver during the week, since Jane has the job that keeps us afloat. Since she started freelancing last year (instead of going into the office) she’s been able to be around more, which is really nice for all of us. I’m really glad I’m able to have this time with the girls, challenging a job as it most definitely can be.

Jane: And I’d say that we’ve both stayed equally focused on our creative work in spite of the girls—maybe even because of them. We’ve both had unexpected success in areas we never would have explored if we weren’t parents, specifically writing about being a parent of twins (me) and doing kids’ music (him).

It’s funny, because one of my big fears before having kids was that once I was a mom my desire to write would evaporate, along with my time. But it’s been the opposite. I’m more focused on my writing than ever. And while there’s definitely a lot less time to write, I tend to use that time more efficiently.

Do you guys ever find time just as a couple?  Is that even on the radar?

Alastair: We do. Not a huge amount, but yes. The girls are usually in bed by eight, which gives us a couple of hours every evening. And we’ll get a sitter from time to time.

Jane: Twice, we’ve done overnights away together on our own. And in December I joined Alastair for a few days while he was doing a bunch of shows in and around Paris. Just us, no kids. It was amazing. It’s really important to find ways to step back and reconnect with who you were as a couple before kids.

Alastair: Not that you necessarily need to step back as far as Paris. It was a rare and amazing opportunity for both of us to be able to do that but, generally, one or two date nights a month does the trick.

Jane: Yeah, the food’s just not as good.

One of the things I found immediately upon having a baby was how much community played a big part in emotional well-being.  The same could be said for artists.  Has community played a part in raising your girls and your creative careers?

Jane: In terms of parenting, specifically, I’ve really enjoyed the virtual community of parents that I have access to through my blog. It’s a great source of support and advice, and in a funny way feels like the Greek Chorus to my parenting experience. I’m not always sure if that’s a good thing or not.

In terms of writing, I have a fantastic network of writer friends—many of whom are also parents—primarily through Grub Street Writers here in Boston. I also still keep in touch with some of my classmates from Iowa. In general, writers tend to be very supportive of each other, quick to cheer each other on and to buy/ promote each other’s work. At least, the ones I’m friends with are.

Alastair: There’s definitely a strong music community in Boston, and it’s been a big part of my professional/musical experience here. I haven’t had quite the same experience with raising kids. I struggled a bit, especially early on, with feeling like an outsider as a stay-at-home dad. I have one other good friend who’s a musician/stay-at-home-dad who I see a couple of times a month but, for a long time, that was pretty much it. Now that the girls are older, they do more activities which kind of come with built-in communities, and I’ve gotten close with a couple of moms I see regularly. But I’ve been a bit surprised at how rare it still is for guys to be the ones at home.

Alastair, your songwriting and performing has extended to family concerts and kids’ music.  Jane, your writing has grown to encompass a parenting blog and a forthcoming memoir on raising twins.  While it may seem obvious that having children changes an artist’s work, can both of you touch on how that has emerged for both of you?

Alastair: In our case, it affected our work tremendously. I had been working with kids and thinking about trying my hand at family music for a long time, but having kids definitely helped open that door for me.

Jane: I never dreamed in a million years that I would become a “mom blogger,” let alone write a whole book about around the experience of parenting. But doing the blog really helped me find my voice, and that confidence (as well as the readership) has extended and opened the door to other things.

What are you both of you working on now?

Jane: My first novel, EDEN LAKE, will be published in May. I’m working on the memoir you mentioned, which is about parenting twins as well as my struggles with clinical depression. It will be published by St. Martin’s at some point in 2012.

Alastair: I’ll start working on a second family album this year. I’ve also started doing more assembly programs in school around music and American history.

Do either of you have any advice to creative parents out there?

Alastair: Every situation is so different, it’s hard to give general advice. It’s certainly not easy to make two artistic careers and children work, but it can be done.

Jane: What he said. I’d also just say it’s important to accept the fact that once kids come along, doing creative work is going to be a very different and probably much slower process. I think sometimes people take an all or nothing attitude: “When I have kids, I won’t be able to write for three hours a day and I won’t have time to go to writing conferences or workshops or readings, so I just won’t write at all for the next eighteen years.” That’s nuts. You can still be a writer / artist / musician / etc. Just not exactly the same one you were before you had kids.

Alastair: It also really helps to drug them so they’ll sleep longer.